Being Kind to Ourselves - Selfcare
Healthy Eating
Kindness begins with self-care and eating healthy and nourishing food regularly including eating plenty of fruit and vegetables a day (which can include growing our own). Healthy eating has many benefits:
- can help us live longer
- keeps skin, teeth, and eyes healthy
- supports muscles. boosts immunity and strengthens bones
- helps many systems function better incl our digestive systems, and
- lowers risk of many health problems incl heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and some cancers.
Why wouldn’t we eat well?
Exercise
Kindness also means taking time to exercise e.g. walking, dancing, gym, swimming; and looking after ourselves physically as these bodies have to last us decades. Exercise allows us to connect with others, and with nature and helps build resilience. It also helps improve our emotional health and can be fun and enjoyable, especially if walking outdoors and given this beautiful world we live in. Group activities like team sports can improve communication skills and relationships with others. Do get outdoors, don’t miss out!
See also our "Walking Saves Lives" project and come join in in the fun!
Getting hobbies and Interests back
Kindness also means making time for hobbies, interests and activities that are enjoyable and fun. People with hobbies:
- are less likely to suffer from stress, low mood, and low mood
- are more likely to feel happier and more relaxed, especially when engaging in activities that get us out and about.
- have opportunities and mental space to come up with great ideas because hobbies can help stretch our imaginations, and enable us see the world in new ways.
When we devote ourselves to a hobby, we take on new challenges that motivate us to learn new ways to improve.
What is your hobby? What helps you be happy?
Kindness in Family Relationships: Active listening
Active listening shows interest, respect and care in close relationships. Not being listened to or heard in contrast can be distressing and upsetting. Active listening can improve with practice and can involve some key steps:
- Find a comfortable setting and opportunity to have a conversation – which can mean agreeing in advance, e.g. “we need to chat about X, when would suit best”
- Active listening means giving the other person your full attention; this can include giving good eye contact, nodding, and/or asking appropriate follow up questions. It can also mean being OK with silences as sometimes these are needed as people gather their thoughts
- Do not bring the conversation back to you, and do not dismiss the feelings or experiences of the other as something small to you can mean the world to another
- Do not stress about saying the right thing
- In fact, say little – do not give / limit any advice; and limit any sharing of your personal experiences or views.
- Instead, try to hear and understand what the other is saying and feeling which can include summarising back to them what they have said, e.g. “that must have been difficult” or “you are telling me that …. “
- Potentially take a time-out if needed to consider all the issues and also possible options going forward
- Apologies can be very helpful in family relationships e,g, "when I said/did X it left you feeling upset. Im really sorry; going forward I will ..." OR "how can I ensure this does not happen again?"
Barriers to kindness and care at home
"I dont have time/energy for selfcare"
What is behind this? What are we telling ourselves?
- No time for fun things? Ourselves? What are we valuing?
- Practical problem solving needed, e.g. a to-do list?
- Maybe we are spreading ourselves too thinly? Or spending time on things that are not so important?
- Do we need to ask for help?
What if we did selfcare? Is it worth it?
What if we showed ourselves the same kindness or respect that we show others? How would your day / life change?
- More time to do what you want to do?
- Better qualtiy of sleep? Better heatlh? Potentially a longer life?
- More purpose / fun / joy? More hobbies and interests? More quality to life?
- Less concern about what others think?
Recharging One Act of Kindness at a Time
Feeling too anxious or tired to selfcare? Your battery a bit low?
- It is OK not to be OK .
- Yet what if you were to do three acts of kindness and care tomorrow e.g. a healthy meal? A spa treatment, e.g. shower, body lotion? And some exercise (even ten minutes’ walk)?
- And imagine each of these three activities was worth three points each - and you did three?
- What would happen to your battery/mood - except to increase or improve it by nearly ten points (3 activities X 3 points each)?
The more little acts of kindness and care you do, the higher up your battery or mood goes! Try it for yourself!